TheReadingLifeisForMe

TheReadingLifeisForMe

http://bisexual-books.tumblr.com/post/96387773193/queermediarepresentation-referencemixologist

queermediarepresentation:

referencemixologist:

samati:

queermediarepresentation:

I went to my local library today looking for books to review for this blog and found a grand total of 1 (Two Boys Kissing by David Levithan).

I’m thinking about writing/emailing the…

Depression is more than simply feeling unhappy or fed up for a few days.

I think one thing you can do to help your friends who are depressed is to reach out to them not in the spirit of helping, but in the spirit of liking them and wanting their company. “I’m here to help if you ever need me” is good to know, but hard to act on, especially when you’re in a dark place. Specific, ongoing, pleasure-based invitations are much easier to absorb. “I’m here. Let’s go to the movies. Or stay in and order takeout and watch some dumb TV.” “I’m having a party, it would be really great if you could come for a little while.” Ask them for help with things you know they are good at and like doing, so there is reciprocity and a way for them to contribute. “Will you come over Sunday and help me clear my closet of unfashionable and unflattering items? I trust your eye.” “Will you read this story I wrote and help me fix the dialogue?” “Want to make dinner together? You chop, I’ll assemble.” “I am going glasses shopping and I need another set of eyes.” Remind yourself why you like this person, and in the process, remind them that they are likable and worth your time and interest.

Talk to the parts of the person that aren’t being eaten by the depression. Make it as easy as possible to make and keep plans, if you have the emotional resources to be the initiator and to meet your friends a little more than halfway. If the person turns down a bunch of invitations in a row because (presumably) they don’t have the energy to be social, respect their autonomy by giving it a month or two and then try again. Keep the invitations simple; “Any chance we could have breakfast Saturday?” > “ARE YOU AVOIDING ME BECAUSE YOU’RE DEPRESSED OR BECAUSE YOU HATE ME I AM ONLY TRYING TO HELP YOU.” “I miss you and I want to see you” > “I’m worried about you.” A depressed person is going to have a shame spiral about how their shame is making them avoid you and how that’s giving them more shame, which is making them avoid you no matter what you do. No need for you to call attention to it. Just keep asking. “I want to see you” “Let’s do this thing.” “If you are feeling low, I understand, and I don’t want to impose on you, but I miss your face. Please come have coffee with me.” “Apology accepted. ApologIES accepted. So. Gelato and Outlander?”

#613: How do I reach out to my friends who have depression? | Captain Awkward

P.S. A lot of people with depression and other mental illnesses have trouble making decisions or choosing from a bunch of different options. “Wanna get dinner at that pizza place on Tuesday night?” is a LOT easier to answer than “So wanna hang out sometime? What do you want to do?”

(via startrekrenegades)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So much this…

When I’m at my worst, just being invited to drive with you while you run errands is often enough to keep me from doing a complete downward spiral, but please don’t guilt people for not being able to hang out… It’s the worst feeling of shame for having depression in the first place on top of worrying that you will lose those you love for being a shitty friend.

(via gallifreyglo)

oh wow all of this so so so much

I will also point out that depression comes with a lot of lethargy, which means if you ask you really are quite likely to get a no. When you’re at the bottom the smallest thing can seem like a lot of effort, so minimising that by arranging to meet close to them or offering a lift can make a huge difference. Side note: if they have anxiety, this doesn’t mean hanging out at their place - playing host is a super stressful thing for some.

(via echoing-artemis)

(via minervadashwood)

http://minervadashwood.tumblr.com/post/96366268801/soilrockslove-dendriforming-i-dont-want

soilrockslove:

dendriforming:

I don’t want anybody to ~protect~ me without asking first!

Maybe that meme means something else, but if so, I’m very unclear what. And I’ve had enough undesired protection for a lifetime.

soilrockslove:

Yeah, that’s why I don’t re-blog those…

Hmm


everyone should reblog this just in case someone needs a sign to not do it

everyone should reblog this just in case someone needs a sign to not do it

(via minervadashwood)

http://fandomsandfeminism.tumblr.com/post/96311371934/everythingsbetterwithbisexuals-stardust-rain

is bi tumblr dedicated on proving themselves to be one of the most homophobic fuckers on this planet

Answer:

bi-characters:

a-little-bi-furious:

bi-characters:

Well, bi tumblr isn’t dedicated to proving itself to be “one of the most” anything…because bi tumblr isn’t singular. Bi tumblr is a diverse collection of blogs. So there’s that.

But also, and more importantly, if you think that me declaring a bisexual identity for characters whose identities are left ambiguous by writers is “one of the most homophobic” things on this planet…well, I’ve got news for you.

Gunnerkrigg Court fans really need to cool their anon hate, seriously. And like, many claims to why labeling unlabeled girl characters in same-gender relationships as bi rather than lesbian is homophobic is because it gives the impression lesbians are “open” to relationships and having sex with men. This is a pervasive stereotype so I always try to tred carefully around unlabeled non-straight characters that show no interest in other genders at all.

However, when the source material shows the characters having canonical sexual and romantic interest in men, even long and deep relationships with men, before getting into a same-gender relationship or even during the relationship, it’s still considered homophobic to label them as bi “because lesbians can have relationships with men and still be lesbian”.

There’s literally no way bisexuals are allowed to see or suggest ambiguous representation is bisexual, which is super ironic because our orientation gets labeled “ambiguous” constantly even if we label it bisexual ourselves.

I bolded that last paragraph because I think it’s really important and then I also wanted to add a bit that’s somewhat tangential…

Part of the problem, I think, is in the way many folks conceptualise bisexual identity in relation to gay/lesbian identity. If you think of being gay as being as much about being not interested in women as it is about being interested in men, then you think of bi folks as “less gay.” (Same with lesbian identity and women).

And there is a difference between saying “I’m gay because I’m only attracted to men,” and saying “I’m gay because I’m not attracted to women.” And it’s often a lot easier to conceptualise an identity as a negative rather than as an affirmative. “I am gay because I am not like straight people,” is an easier way to conceptualise one’s identity than “I am gay because I share X in common with other gay people.”

This sets up a dichotomy (a binary) and bisexual/pansexual/unlabelled queer folks are screwed because we don’t fit into either side of this binary. So, in any given situation, a bi/pan/queer person will have their identity relabelled (mislabelled) based on the context they find themselves.

How many times have bi/pan/queer folks been told biphobia/panphobia/queerphobia is really just homophobia, and moments later found that they were accused of being homophobic? 

It’s a recontextualising of bi/pan/queer identity as being “similar to gay/lesbian” or “similar to straight” depending on the context. Discrimination bi/pan/queer folks face must be homophobia because bi/pan/queer folks identities are understood as “similar to gay/lesbian.” And any time bi/pan/queer folks try to assert their identities as separate from gay/lesbian, they are accused of homophobia because they are understood as “similar to straight.”

That bi/pan/queer identities are identities in themselves which can be understood on their own terms is not something many folks can wrap their heads around. Which goes back to the bit I bolded in a-little-bi-furious’ response. That ambiguous depictions of sexuality are a product of biphobia is not something a lot of folks can really understand; so instead ambiguous depictions of sexuality are widely interpreted as being a product of homophobia. And if they are understood to be a product of homophobia, the only “right” way to fix that is to interpret these characters as gay/lesbian. Anything else (such as interpreting them as bisexual) is viewed as a compromise and lesser than.

-Of course, a lot of ambiguous depictions of sexuality are the product of biphobia and homophobia, especially if you’re looking at stuff from 30 years ago or more.-

I’ll stop my rambling on this now and also acknowledge that a lot of these issues stem from the heteronormative nature of western culture. This is not a problem gay/lesbian folks created all on their own.

oh-lord-jesus-its-a-firebender:

Trisha was brought back. The transmutation just didn’t finish until Ed and Al left. She lost her memories so she wandered around confused until she made it to Shinganshina, where she met a nice doctor and had a healthy, very angry son.

Holy f*ck

bisexualzuko:

ruinsofxerxes:

Up Next On: I Can’t Believe it’s Not in Brotherhood!


Is it really worth it to read the manga if I’ve already watched Brotherhood?

Yes

bisexualzuko:

ruinsofxerxes:

Up Next On: I Can’t Believe it’s Not in Brotherhood!

Is it really worth it to read the manga if I’ve already watched Brotherhood?

Yes

http://bisexualzuko.tumblr.com/post/96045220943/nivalingreenhow-nivalingreenhow-all-right

nivalingreenhow:

nivalingreenhow:

All right, I’ve had questions about commissions in the past and I’ve always said no to them, but now I am in need of money and so I am opening up commissions. This will be on a first come first serve basis. I don’t have a limit of how many I will do,…